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GeorgeDykeScoresGoals

Cupid Stunts Today Announced that on loan defender Tony Carty has signed a rolling contract to play for the Summer season which starts tomorrow at 9pm.

Stunts Manager George Dyke said: "Carty is a solid defender and gives myself and Newman a chance to push up and score goals. This may not be the most tactically sound descision as I'm rubbish at scoring goals, but I do enjoy trying."

Dyke failed to sign long time target Richard Moon on a permanent transfer. Despite showing some willingness to match his wage demands of the £19.20 train fare from London, it seems Moon turned down the transfer as he has "better things to do". Many believe this backs up the story that Moon has developed a penchant for rimming.

Carty will join the usual line up against Brazil 70 tomorrow night.