steveolarge40
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16/12/06 Cup Match away v LenhamRight lads, we have a game away at Lenham on sat, meeting at the Flyer at 12.15 for a 1.30 k.o.
The team is:
DEANO
CARTY
GIBBO
ADAM O
STOCKS (CAPT.)
LOG
GEORGE
BRIAN
JONESY
MARCUS
ADAM R
SUBS
CHUNK
GRANDAD SMUDGE (ANYONE GOT HIS NUMBER?)
STU BATT (IF HE EVER ANSWERS HIS PHONE!)
Ok, i've stopped shouting now, but you may be wondering what has happened to Messrs Adamson and Moon.
I will leave you to form your own opinions but, this is what happened:
Firstly neither if them contacted me to let me know they were unavailable.
Andy is going to a wedding he "can't get out of". His?
Moony's is a far more disturbing story.
He's going to NYC with Bruce for the weekend. He's not going on the xmas beano cos he's staying at his bird's parents' house. His bird texted me, pretending to be Moony, to say " sorry bigger issue, may have to quit come Jan".
I reacted as any football loving guy would and phoned him demanding answers. He was giggling and admitted to being out drinking (with his bird, Zoe!). I drew on all my experience and told him to dump her and he started sticking up for her, acting like she has a say in his football career, lads nites out or life for that matter! I'm deeply traumatised by this and will be seeking guidance from Eileen Drury.
I await your comments on this sad and sickening night in Smarden FC's history.
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GeorgeDykeScoresGoals
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sweet am looking forward to a run out. Nightmare with the selection, we look a bit thin on the ground. Matt Dyke is available should you need another sub.
For someone who spends most of his time calling Adamson a Maggot, Moon is a Maggot. I like Zoe, but she's got to go.
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steveolarge40
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Does anyone have Grandad Chris's phone number or does he rely on telegrams and carrier pigeons for his messages?
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GeorgeDykeScoresGoals
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I find carrier pigeon the best way, I would help but i've shot all the pigeons near me.
(....I'll text you his number)
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steveolarge40
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grandad, if you're out there, please answer the call for a number 13 shirt on saturday!
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Grandad Smudge
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Fear not lads my home help found me and I am safe and well. I am good for saturday 
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steveolarge40
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What a guy. Even 2 world wars can't stop him turning out for the mighty Smarden.
It's that stiff upper lip attitude that is gonna win us trophies this year!
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GeorgeDykeScoresGoals
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See you can sod all your fancy carrier pigeons, telograms and mobile phones, the best communication method is of course: the forum.
Welcome to the saturday set up old man!
Steveo, we still playing in Lenham? Bruce said they were vying for a pitch change?
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